Playin' Dirty

I don't care who you are or where you're from, there is a very good chance that you are presently or at one point in your life have found yourself surrounded by dumbasses. If you are like me, this can be a particularly stressful situation. If you are unfortunate enough to find yourself in the circumstance I just mentioned, I suggest you practice a stress relief technique of some kind. My most recent method of stress relief is that of gardening. It is an even better experience if you call your garden a farm. In my opinion if it produces produce than it's a farm. A lot of projects I take on have an air ghettoness. In this case my greenhouse is an over-turned rat cage. I gave myself a pat on the back for that one. I decided against buying soil for my farm. I figured why would I when 80% of the planet is dirt anyways. Or maybe it's water, who cares there's a lot. So I started search my neighbors yards to see if there was any unattended bags of dirt. To my good fortune there was a massive pile of dirt behind my house. It's amazing the things we take for granted! I kinda live in the hood, so I almost cut myself twice excavating the nutrient rich plant food. Then I fingered it and planted my seed, and was completely satisfied.

feelin' frisky

Sometime when the seasons change I feel like my mood changes with it. During the winter I'd say that I am a hermit of sorts. A recluse. I thought my eyeballs were going to freeze and my testicles would retreat into my pelvis. But now that the warm weather has come I feel that they can once again hang at their natural position. The mood I find myself in when spring arrives is a spontaneous troublesome one. Like driving a 3,000 pound car twice the speed limit or flipping off yuppies and hipsters. Damn emo freaks. Damn skinny jean wearing wrist slitters. I'm afraid of myself when I get in these moods, cause one thing I'm good at is causin' havoc. Pussy on my mind.

Idiots

I'm surrounded by morons! I know that no one likes to listen to people complain, but I figure it's better this than kicking a dog in the asshole. Which I am not above. Sorry ASPCA. Anyways, I have the two dumbest dogs on this ridiculously large planet with millions maybe billions of other dogs. Everybody's like "Why don't you train them better?" And I'm like "Why don't I cut you? I can't think of a good reason not to." Basic activities they don't grasp. I'm a loyal person, so I won't dump them in the river, but it's tempting.

Electronics Hate Me

I would be like a drunk person in a dark room trying to find a door with no knob without technology, but I just wish we could get along better. I halfway expect a cell phone charger to be hiding in the bushes, that's how much electronics hate me. If it's not me losing something it's something breaking. They need a universal cell phone charger. I'm a genius. If electronics didn't hate me so much then I'd take the initiative to invent one. I must be truthful, I hate electronics back. I got a new phone finally and I took the old one and set it on fire. Then I hit the charred remain with a hammer. I thought it deserved it, because I am the judge and jury of all my electronics. It's not a democracy. I have large remotes that prevent me from misplacing them. It's like on of those phones that you could put photos in the buttons for kids so that they would know who is on speed dial.