Idiots

I'm surrounded by morons! I know that no one likes to listen to people complain, but I figure it's better this than kicking a dog in the asshole. Which I am not above. Sorry ASPCA. Anyways, I have the two dumbest dogs on this ridiculously large planet with millions maybe billions of other dogs. Everybody's like "Why don't you train them better?" And I'm like "Why don't I cut you? I can't think of a good reason not to." Basic activities they don't grasp. I'm a loyal person, so I won't dump them in the river, but it's tempting.

Electronics Hate Me

I would be like a drunk person in a dark room trying to find a door with no knob without technology, but I just wish we could get along better. I halfway expect a cell phone charger to be hiding in the bushes, that's how much electronics hate me. If it's not me losing something it's something breaking. They need a universal cell phone charger. I'm a genius. If electronics didn't hate me so much then I'd take the initiative to invent one. I must be truthful, I hate electronics back. I got a new phone finally and I took the old one and set it on fire. Then I hit the charred remain with a hammer. I thought it deserved it, because I am the judge and jury of all my electronics. It's not a democracy. I have large remotes that prevent me from misplacing them. It's like on of those phones that you could put photos in the buttons for kids so that they would know who is on speed dial.