Electronics Hate Me

I would be like a drunk person in a dark room trying to find a door with no knob without technology, but I just wish we could get along better. I halfway expect a cell phone charger to be hiding in the bushes, that's how much electronics hate me. If it's not me losing something it's something breaking. They need a universal cell phone charger. I'm a genius. If electronics didn't hate me so much then I'd take the initiative to invent one. I must be truthful, I hate electronics back. I got a new phone finally and I took the old one and set it on fire. Then I hit the charred remain with a hammer. I thought it deserved it, because I am the judge and jury of all my electronics. It's not a democracy. I have large remotes that prevent me from misplacing them. It's like on of those phones that you could put photos in the buttons for kids so that they would know who is on speed dial.